Fighting For My Sight

When I was first told I had glaucoma, I didn't believe it and preferred to think of it as ocular hypertension. I did all the research, read every bit of information I could , armed myself with all the relevant questions I was to ask the specialists and tried to put it in the back of my mind, I was only thirty and there was no way I was going to believe I had glaucoma, I couldn't even say the word. This worked for about ten years. I was always quite active but I started working out almost every day. I took my drops, went to my six monthly checkups, pressures were around 20-22, sometimes lower,  fields were good, I was happy. Then I turned forty and I began to worry that maybe things could change. I was right , pressure went up to 30 on one of my checkups and the specialist suggested SLT. He had once suggested surgery but after getting a second opinion thankfully it never happened. 

 It was the first time I thought that maybe I did have glaucoma . I was nervous about SLT and much to the doctors' frustration tried to convince him that I had no need for it. I went home and didn't know what to do. I couldn't sleep and cried till my pressures skyrocketed and my sight went all fuzzy and the halos were so bright. I ran to my Optometrist who I know for many years and who always gives me hope and a shoulder to cry on. My pressures were definitely high in the thirties so I made an appointment with another specialist. I was prescribed a different combination of drops, had endless tests, photos and IOP checks. All of which was costing me alot of money as the were private specialists so I decided to go to the Eye and Ear Hospital.

I ended up having SLT but it didn't have that much of an effect. I am now on timolol and Azopt in the morning and Lumigan and Azopt in the evening. When I get my IOP checked at my Optometrist where I am relaxed its around 15, but when I get it checked at the hospital its 20. My field test is still pretty good considering how cupped my left eye especially, is. Every conversation I have with a specialist and I am now seeing many, I challenge them and ask every question I need to ask . One of the specialists upset me so much that I don't want to go back. He said that I needed aggresive treatment and that the drops were only temporary. Everyone knows that all glaucoma treatment is temporary and there are many factors that influence its progression. Age, health, stress, yet no doctor seems to ever take these factors into consideration. They want us to sit there passively and accept our fate in their hands. I have nothing against doctors and maybe I will eventually need surgery, but today my pressures are ok, I know that they fluctuate but hopefully I can keep the surgeons knife away for a long time yet.

I am still driving , I can still see, I notice alot more than I would have without glaucoma. I named this blog " Fighting For My Sight" because that's how I feel .I feel I am fighting to stay positive and healthy and fighting with the doctors to listen to me. I tell myself every day that I will be ok .

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. -- Epictetus (Ancient Greek Philosopher )